The Definition of Happiness
by Innate Obstinacy
Summary: Life was decent, if it could be called that, in their early childhood. But after a traumatic incident puts two lives at stake and sends them on the run for safety, what happens when everything that is good becomes hideous and ugly, out to find and harm them at any chance it can get. Can they regain their happiness, or live in fear and sadness for the rest of their lives?
1. Chapter 1

**The Main characters of the story are not mine, Hetalia and its cast are Copyrighted to Himapapa**

Julius was seated on his couch, a grimace on his face as he stared at the men standing before him with an expectant look, one mixed with annoyance and irritation. The men – three grown adults that were significantly younger than Julius himself by at least thirty years, yet not nearly as attractive, adorned matching black suits and monotone expressions that were not seemingly phased by his unwelcoming aura. The air about them was tense and silent, though none of their gazes faltered, and the presence of the room was filled with unconventional malice – a nicer term than simply saying murderous intent, which is what it really was.

He knew why these men were here, in his home. Just as he was fully aware that these men were well-informed of the knowledge he maintained and withheld. More so, they had probably also been educated just how dangerous Julius could be whether he was or wasn't provoked.

Yet, here they were, with this relentless audacity to make their unwelcome presence known. Julius both admired them for the display of courage, but also pitied them for their stupidity.

The tense silence hovering, however, could not continue, "I should guess that Niccollo sent you," he stated bluntly, looking unamused.

There was a pause, and that only ground Julius' nerves together in a way that would make him very unpleasant.

One man took a step forward after a moment though," Yes, I am sure you are aware of the issue we have come here to discuss with you," he said swiftly, his voice cool and collected like a man who knew what he was doing. Julius' brown eyes narrowed considerably.

"No."

The man who had taken the first daring step sighed, "Julius, as they are the heirs to your position, you know that it's impossible to keep them from-"

"They are my grandsons," Julius intervened in a stern voice, abruptly cutting the man off, "It was my choice and still is that I raise them as I have seen fit, and I have no intention of corrupting their innocence by allowing them access to that side of our famiglia branch. I will not shame their parents by doing so."

"I assure you though, that they would be under the care and protection of-"

"My answer is going to be no, no matter what you try and say or do to convince me otherwise."

"Mr. Vargas-"

The persistence of these men was gradually becoming more of a nuisance than anything else, and it was grinding on whatever amount of patience that Julius had left. It was hard enough trying to keep this as quiet as possible, what with the three boys in the house that were sleeping-

"Nonno..?"

Julius froze mid-thought, and the three men standing before him froze in the midst of their explanation. Turning his head slowly and looking over the side of the couch with a concerned yet intensely serious expression written on features that were stiff with mutual hatred mere seconds ago, Julius locked eyes with the small figures standing behind him.

Two small boys, one of nine and the other of a mere six, were standing at that gaping mouth of the hallway that connected it to the living room where he was seated. The elder stood in front, a mistrusting and suspicious look dancing in hazel irises, with the slight fall of his chestnut bangs drooping in front of his face, mostly the forehead, nowhere near close enough to mask the vicious glare that was directed at the three men in front of Julius. He was holding his tiny arm out protectively in front of the younger boy, who was timidly, but curiously, staring out from behind the elder.

It was just simply looking at them that caused Julius to relax immensely, his features softening as he gave a sigh, "Lovino, Feliciano… what are you boys doing up?" he asked in a much calmer voice.

The elder boy never took his gaze off the three intruding men, "We couldn't sleep dammit, so we came down to get some milk but…" he paused, his glare hardening, "Who are they?"

"No one important," Julius replied in a voice filled with indifference, which was the only way he could mask his resentment towards the men from his boys. He has said so just as he swiftly caught sight of the man standing in front of the other two attempting to move his lips in a response to his grandson's question. There would be none of that though, not in his house.

Turning his gaze back to his elder grandson, he watched as the boy observed the three men, eyes calculating.

Then, "I don't like them, kick them out dammit." his blunt response was so like his grandfather when the man was not happy.

Had this not been such a serious situation, Julius may have laughed at the abrupt rudeness of his grandson for such criticism toward a complete stranger. It was amusingly cute, in a weird way that Julius could not explain.

Instead, he could only crack a light smile at the response, "Lovino, take your brother back to your room."

Unfortunately, and expected to say in the least, the boy was resistant to the request, "W-wait! What about getting our milk dammit?"

"Nonno will bring you milk and cookies to make up for it as a treat, and read you a bedtime story when he is finished talking to the men you don't like."

"But-"

"Lovino," Julius' tone flattened out completely, "Take your little brother and head back to your room. Now. When I am done, I will meet you upstairs with milk, cookies, and a bedtime story, alright."

The elder, Lovino, stood there in silence for a few moments. Hazel bore into brown with such an intensity that should not have been capable for a young child. However, the young boy caved in a few seconds later and gave a huff of defeat.

"Alright, we're going. So hurry up and throw them out, I want cookies." Lovino muttered, grabbing his little brother's hand and leading him back down the hall to the stairs that led to their bedroom.

When they were well enough away, which meant out of sight and hopefully hearing range, Julius gave a sigh of relief. What innocent boys they really were, aside from Lovino's colorful vocabulary that sprung from unknown places. There was absolutely no way he would be willing to let these men ruin that wonderful quality.

Speaking of which, he turned to fully face them once more; Julius' eyes narrowed at the multiple gazes now transfixed on the hallway entrance.

This was not going to fly well with him, as Julius stood from his place on the couch and took a few steps, placing himself between them and the hall entrance, "I have decided to humor you and allow you to… elaborate on this discussion."

The first man smiled, fixing his tie as he nodded to Julius, "I am pleased to hear you have a sudden change of heart in participating in this serious matter-"

"My answer is still no," Julius cut him off abruptly once more with a crude smile, "All I want is for you to tell me down to the last significant detail why you have come to my home at this hour, and then I expect you to leave."

A sigh in response, "You insist on making this difficult but, very well."

* * *

Lovino had angrily slammed the door behind him seconds after he and his little brother entered the room, "That old fucking bastard!" he hissed, unwilling to detain his fury.

"F-fratello please don't get mad at Nonno!" the younger pleaded, gripping the hem of his elder brother's pajama shirt with his tiny fingers, a terrified look in his honey-amber eyes.

"I will get mad if I fucking feel like it!" Lovino growled, snatching his clothes away from his brother and storming over to his bed.

The force at which he had done so caused Feliciano to stumble and fall backwards on his butt. The boy sat there in silence for a few seconds, and then the tears blurred his vision as he began weeping softly.

At this, Lovino faltered, the sound of his brother crying making him halt in his footsteps. He paused, unsure if he wanted to turn around and see the other in such a state, mainly because he felt immediate guilt that he had caused the other to begin crying so suddenly, but also because he was not well accustomed to dealing with tears or people who were upset. Not to mention when he usually did try to help, it just made the situation worse.

But, in the end, he knew that the guilty feeling slowly creeping up into his conscious would drive him crazy if he didn't at least attempt to soothe the other now that the chance had so openly presented itself – even if it was his own fault.

So, Lovino gave in to those feelings as he turned and walked over to his weeping brother.

"O-oi…" he said awkwardly as he reached over and patted the other's back. "Look I'm s-sorry goddammit… D-don't cry Feliciano…"

The younger brother sniffled and looked up at him, cheeks wet with tears and eyes only slightly glossy. It made Lovino feel twice as bad for making the other upset, seeing as it was Feliciano who always looked up to him after their Nonno, which made him feel a bit proud that someone did at least. It was hard being the one considered the problem child by others.

Enough of those thoughts, he looked away from his brother, unsure of what he was going to say next. His cheeks already felt hot from embarrassment at having to be sentimental.

He heard Feliciano sniffle, but before he could look back, he felt the younger immediately cling to him, causing them both to fall and hit the ground, Lovino screeching on the way down.

Feliciano giggled a bit, looking up at him with a happy expression. "Grazie!" he said in a bubbly voice.

Lovino just flushed as he began to push his brother off. "Yeah yeah, whatever dammit, now get off of me already."

The younger did so, and the two sat on the floor and quietly listened to the sounds of the house.

It was silent…

That was seemingly odd, especially for the elder. He was used to being up late at night, the sound of their Nonno and whatever women he brought home either in the bedroom across the hall or downstairs tending to keep him up till the early hours of the morning, unlike his little brother, who could have slept through a natural disaster and woke up completely oblivious to what was going on.

"It's really fucking quiet…" Lovino muttered a few minutes later, getting to his feet and brushing down his pajama pants.

"Isn't it quiet at night?" the other asked.

Lovino glanced down at his brother, "You sleep too easily, it's usually noisy at this time of night." He furrowed his brows, turning and walking to the door.

"W-wait! Where are you going? Nonno told us to stay here-"

"I'm going to see what's going on downstairs dammit. He should have come up by now."

"But fratello! We told Nonno we would stay!"

"Well he is taking his slow ass time, the old bastard! So I'm going to see what the fuck is taking him so long to throw those stupid bastards out of the house and come with our milk and cookies."

The elder did not pause for a response as he walked out of the room, quietly making his way down the hall to the staircase. Not even a few seconds passed before the faint footsteps of the other could be heard from behind him.

The two boys soon found themselves at the top of the staircase, and Lovino quietly motioned for his brother to follow him quietly as they descended a few steps, enough so that they could hear the conversation, but still be out of sight.

At first, it was hard for Lovino and his brother to comprehend what the actual conversation was about, the words were a jumble of English and another language that was foreign to them, as it obviously wasn't Italian. Spanish maybe, but it was still strange to listen to anyway.

"I don't understand what they're saying fratello," Feliciano whispered.

Lovino could feel his little brother grip his arm and hold it. He turned to him and made a shushing sound with his finger before turning and taking a hesitant step down the staircase, an attempt to get closer so maybe he would be able to heard and understand a little more clearly.

"What did I tell you before?"

Lovino immediately froze on the step, holding his breath as his eyes widened in fear that he had already been caught before he could figure anything out. Except… his grandfather's back was facing away from him. Even for a nine-year- old, he knew that he was most definitely not being addressed at this given moment if the old man was not facing his direction primarily.

"Julius I assure you that without a doubt they will be safe in our custody."

Custody? What the hell were they talking about down there? Lovino's brow furrowed in confusion, and he felt a tug on his sleeve. Craning his neck around, he turned and looked at his brother. Feliciano looked uncertain, and a little scared.

"Lovino, I think we should go back to the room." He whispered, sounding anxious, which was completely uncharacteristic of Feliciano.

"Give me another minute, I want to know what they're talking about." Lovino said in a hushed voice, quickly removing the other from himself before silently and stealthily descending the steps.

"Lovino!" Feliciano's quiet, but frantic voice reached the elder boy's ears, but it purposely went ignored.

"I have told you this before, as I have told the last group of people who have come here with a request from Niccollo. You will not have my boys. My side of the family lineage will not be their heritage, and that is my final word."

"I'm afraid this is no longer a decision that you have the right to make. You found your way into the line of business, and you know the only way to leave it."

Lovino swore he heard their grandfather growl just then, and he had to admit it was beyond terrifying just hearing the man become enraged.

"I will give you the option one last time, leave peacefully, or I will make you by force."

"We cannot be allowed to leave unless we have the boys in our custody, I am aware this will be an inconvenience to your family, but the heirs must be protected at all costs.

A scoff, "They are in more danger in your hands than they have been in mine."

"Julius must you be so difficult, we will bring them with us tonight by peaceful means, or we will be forced to use force. I will ask you again out of kindness and respect, please hand over the custody of the Vargas brothers."

Eerie silence. Lovino shivered inwardly at the sound, suddenly wishing that he had listened to his brother and gone back to their room when they had the chance. These bastards had come to take them away, and he was most definitely in a position to be grabbed if he was spotted.

He tensed, waiting for his grandfather to say something, anything. Hell, even one of those ridiculous spouting's or ramblings he did at times would have been greatly appreciated at this point, because the silence was unbearably horrifying.

And that wish was granted, though not in a way that he would have seemingly wished for.

He heard a spine-chilling chuckle, which was only followed by his grandfather saying to simple words that started so many things that he wasn't even remotely prepared for at his young age.

"Make me."

The next moment sounded as if an explosion had been set off right there in the center of the living room, Lovino covering his ears to stop the loud ringing that suddenly filled them. A split second later, everything fell into chaos.

He heard his grandfather roar; not a yell or an angry shout or even a battle cry, it was a _roar, _like some wild animal attacking its prey in a violent assault. This was followed by shouts, and a rap of loud bangs that made him feel like his ears were about to explode. He sank to his feet behind the couch, pulling himself into a fetal position as he tried to drown out the loud, disturbing sounds.

"This isn't real," he told himself in a hushed voice, shaking slightly, "This is a b-bad fucking dream… it's not f-f-fucking real…"

It was doing no good, and was actually only adding to his growing fears as the couch violently rocked, bumping him and causing him to yelp. That was drowned out by a thud, and in the next instant, a black lump came hurtling from above and landing in front of him in a heap.

Lovino froze, staring at it in stunned silence for a split second. Then he heard a groan, and was frozen in place as the shape that he assumed was the man's head turned and looked at him. Their eyes locked, and no other words were spoken.

That was all that was needed to spike the boy into complete panic.

"Chigi!" he screamed loudly as he jumped to his feet, hurdling over the man and up the stairs as three other heads on the other side of the couch turned to see him. They went unnoticed by Lovino though, who was so blind struck with panic and the need to get somewhere safe.

As he ascended the stairs, he noted that his brother was nowhere to be seen. His panicked senses heightened as he raced back to their bedroom.

'Please be there,' he thought desperately, 'Feliciano please be in there dammit!'

Lovino nearly tripped as he entered their bedroom at the end of that seemingly endless hall, slamming it behind him and pressing his back to the door as if that would help or something. His eyes darted around the room frantically, trying to see if he could find his brother somewhere, anywhere.

The whimpering started suddenly. His ears, though still ringing from the explosive sound, still caught it, and his eyes moved to the far left side of the room, towards his little brother's bed.

"F-Feliciano?"

The whimpering quieted slightly, and in the darkness he saw the small form of his brother crawl from beneath the bed, and practically fly to him, clinging and sobbing.

"F-fratello, fratello!" the boy was a shaking mess, the words coming out choked and his appearance obviously disorientated.

"Shh, we have to be quiet or they'll know we're in here."

"Th-they shot Nonno!"

The words processed a little too slowly in Lovino's mind. He stared down at his brother stunned, unaware as his hand reached up and clicked the lock in place. Not that it would do much for too long, but his subconscious seemed to feel it would buy them some time for something. But what, apparently their grandfather had been shot.

_Shot._

"Wh-what…?" was the only thing Lovino had been able to say when his voice returned, and he sounded completely stupid just saying that.

Feliciano only shook harder, "I-I saw them! When he said those words, o-one of the men pulled out a gun and sh-sh-shot him! B-but then he started a-attacking a-and-!" the poor younger brother was unable to finish speaking as he only began crying harder.

Lovino was still taking a few moments to regain his bearings, but he nodded to his little brother as he pulled them away from the door. "Ok… ok…"

How many situations had Lovino been in where this had happened? That's right; he'd never been in a situation that put someone's life on the line. They were in no position to fight at their age, and they couldn't call the police if they wanted to because the damn phone was downstairs. There was one injured man, from Lovino's perspective, but if the other two had shot their grandfather, than he would not be able to run downstairs.

"Wh-what are we going to do Lovino?"

The elder wasn't quite sure himself, "We can't fight them, we're too small and don't have weapons. The working phone is downstairs and they'd catch us if we left the room."

Feliciano whimpered.

Lovino looked around the room again, trying to find anything that could be of use. The room was mostly bare, so there wasn't anything remotely close to being useful. Though his brain was working at as much full capacity as a nine-year-old could muster, the only thing remotely close in the whole room to being of use was the window screen –

It clicked right after that. "Feliciano come over here." Lovino stated as he made his way over to the window, using the small chair on the wall as a stand so he could reach it.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Just hurry the fuck up and help me!" he hissed angrily as he pulled the window open and began yanking at the screen to pry it off.

Feliciano squeaked and he heard approaching footsteps, followed by Lovino's line of sight in the right corner of his eye spotting the younger climbing up on a box, then reaching out as they both began to pull on the screen. It was sturdy and tough, which meant that their grandfather had reinforced it after the last time Lovino had run off by sneaking through it.

'Another fond memory for another time', Lovino shook the thought off bitterly as he wedged his tiny fingers into the cracks and heaved.

Feliciano seemed to follow suit, though not with nearly as much force as his elder brother. The two continued to tug and tug at the screen, Lovino giving an occasional pained groan as he had jammed his fingers tight inside, and the chances of them being bruised was great.

Fear was trickling: if they didn't get this damn thing off, they were going to get caught.

"L-Lovino my hands-" Feliciano was already on the verge of tears again.

Lovino swore, quickly pulling his fingers out before helping his brother do the same. It was no good, the screen was on their tight.

Feliciano had begun weeping again, and Lovino only turned to find him curled up on the ground. He didn't hesitate as he ran over and pulled the crying boy to his feet. "We're going to be ok, dammit. We're going to be just f-fucking fine."

"But Nonno." Feliciano wailed as he burying his small form into his brother.

This was not how it was intended for them to end. Feliciano was not supposed to give up that easily. He wasn't supposed to be the one that gave in and cried. He wasn't supposed to be the pessimistic sad one.

That was Lovino's job!

Tonight, apparently, the roles had switched.

Lovino didn't really have any other options, and he shuddered as the realization at the only possible plan of survival made itself clear in his mind. He grabbed his brother's hand and began pulling him towards the door, hand reaching up to unlock it. His brother didn't put up much of a fight as he was pulled over and the door was pushed open, but he hesitated when Lovino made to actually take a _step _out the door. However, the ancient Roman bloodline in Romano had taken over as the elder forcefully yanked his younger sibling from the room, pulling him into a half sprint, but still fast enough run as he ran to the staircase.

"L-Lovino the bad men are down there!" Feliciano cried, fear so evident in his voice that it stung.

"I know! But the door's the only option!"

He felt the resistance of his little brother a second time, and tightened his grip, still pulling as he neared the staircase, "Feliciano, I know it sounds crazy, but you're going to have to trust me on this! Can you do that, can you trust me on this?" he asked, looking back slightly to see his little brother's face.

Eyes were wide with terror and sadness, among many other things that most certainly did not fit Feliciano's optimistic charisma, but, he nodded anyway. "Si… si…" it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, but that was the best Lovino was going to get.

They descended the stairs quickly, and to be honest, Lovino nearly halted at the sight laid out before them. His hand quickly went and covered his little brother's eyes. He would not speak of the sight, nor would he allow his brother to see what lay before him as he quickly pulled him through the mess to the front door. All the while, he felt his brother's confusion.

"Fratello? What's going on, why did you?"

"It's nothing Feli," Lovino cut him off in a shaky voice, using his free hand to open the door with a shivering palm.

He ushered his brother out the front door, closed it behind him, took Feliciano's hand, and he fast as he possibly could away from a home that had seemingly turned into hell in a period of one night.

* * *

Ok! The first chapter is down!

After I receive feedback from a few people, I will officially decide if I want to continue this or upload the other story! Gosh I didn't think this would take so many hours! Maybe like... three.

Lol, anyway, like/review and let me know if I should continue this!


	2. Chapter 2

**I am going to state now, that I am not fluent in Italian.**

**If there are any mistakes, and you are fluent in the language, I encourage you to let me know my mistake and correct me.**

**I would most definitely not want to insult your language.**

** OnyxBunneraffe and NoraFox123: Grazie for the comments, they made me feel happy.**

* * *

Feliciano's immediate terror had been temporarily stilled as he was completely and utterly confused at the darkness currently clouding his field of vision, seemingly blinding him as he walked along. The sounds of the wind and the crickets could be heard as he walked along, the cement cold and hard under his bare feet. They had left the house in such a hurry, they hadn't even brought shoes along with them.

The night was cool, and he involuntarily shivered at the chilly air surrounding him, as the only thing he currently wore were the pajama's he'd been dressed in before he'd left the familiar comforts of his home. They had consisted of a slightly oversized shirt, and some shorts, nothing all that model for walking around in the dead of the night really.

However, that wasn't the main topic at hand, especially in the midst of his thoughts as the pitter patter of his own feet and his brother's were the only close sound he heard, if he had been paying attention to that either.

Right now, Feliciano's thoughts were swirling, as the six year old was unable to comprehend what was going on, and why it had occurred when everything was seemingly good and nice around him minutes ago.

Why had those men come into their home? Why were they trying to take them away? Why did that one man have to pull a gun? Why had he shot…

The young and innocent Italian boy sniffled as it all came back to him, and he could feel the perspiration of tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to think about it, even if the image had already left the mental scar across the forefront of his mind.

Why?

Why?

_WHY?_

The image of a loved one being shot right in front of his eyes. It was like a reoccurring nightmare, except he was wide awake and there wasn't anyone now that could hold him and console him, telling him it was all just some bad dream.

"Nonno…" he said in a hushed voice laced with the imminent sorrow of a child, reaching with his free hand to wipe his eyes. He was perplexed for a moment when he felt a hand there, then the realization that his elder brother, Lovino, had placed his hand over his eyes around the time when the air had gone from warm to icy. This must have been the time they left the house.

Feliciano's other hand housed the elder's own hand, and as he gave another sniffle, he felt the hand tighten around his own in a comforting manner. It was slightly reassuring, but it did little to stifle the darker more dejecting feelings making themselves familiar with his being.

"It's going to be alright Feli, we'll be alright." Came the voice of Lovino a few seconds later. It was strained and filled with uncertainty, but the words alone were enough to calm the younger's nerves just enough to a degree he could find tolerable, to say in the least.

"S-sí…" Feliciano's shaky response came after a pause. "Can you move your hand please? I don't like the dark…" It was true, the younger had always had a perpetuated fear of the dark, and had been insistent on keeping a candle by his bedside that the elder could put out only when it was certain that the younger was fast asleep.

Silence.

For a split moment, Feliciano was sure his brother was going to say no for some unexplainable reason, though there really was no reason for the hand to be there. Then he felt the hand move from his face, and his eyes immediately began adjusting to the night around them that was also dark, but there were street lamps about that provided some solace for his discomfort of the night.

From what he could tell as his eyes slowly began their adjustment, they were on some street some five or six blocks from their home, Feliciano dimly surprised they had been walking fast enough to get to a place this far. Then again, being the disoriented and blinded in the given situation, Lovino had most likely taken it upon himself to drag the younger along easily like a rag doll. Not literally drag, more or less just tug his arm in a direction and Feliciano's feet automatically followed.

Feliciano looked up and around for a few moments, his eyes making shape of the moving world around him in a clearer perspective. They were approaching a street sign, and in the dark of the night, he was unable to make out what the sign actually said. Which didn't help much, since he was not accustomed to wandering outside at night.

That was Lovino's specialty, as he had often heard or seen his elder brother leave through the window and come back hours later. It was a common occurrence whenever their father and step-mother came to visit them, often with tiny Marcello, their half-brother, in tow.

Feliciano winced as the thought suddenly occurred to him. Truth be told, those were probably some of the most painful memories Feliciano had. But, anything was better than the present horrible image that was surely going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

It definitely would, though he was not sure in what way it would do so.

So maybe he could reminisce for a while, think on something, anything other than what had gone down back at the house; it would be easier for Lovino to lug a doll around without much resistance. He would just keep telling him that till he believed it to be true, and everything would work itself out at some point in time, right?

Right.

* * *

_Feliciano was curled up under the stand, hands tucked tightly over his head, eyes shut tight. Over and over in his mind, he tried with little to no avail to convince himself that everything was going to be alright._

_ In the background, which consisted of being either the kitchen or the living room, as he was hiding under the stand in the living room where the expensive vase their grandfather owned, he heard the sound of glass shattering, followed by the overabundance of his brother's profanity being thrown about in an erratic, uncontrolled sort of way. It was something that tended to happen when _they _came to visit, unfortunately._

_"Lovino, calmati!" the voice of a man all too familiar to Feliciano and his brother rang out loud and clear, though it sounded slightly exasperated and a little alarmed to be frankly honest._

_It was followed immediately by something else smashing against the wall, something that sounded very similar to cherished glass, and the sound of his brother's screams, "You bastard! You bastard!" he sounded incredibly infuriated, but the hurt and betrayal was evident in his voice._

_Not to mention, Lovino's screams only seemed to have gotten louder each time he completed the repetitive phrase, calling his own father a "bastard" with an element of loathing one might think impossible for a child of his age. _

_Not their grandfather, of course, who just found it amusing and respected the eldest child for being so upright when it came to speaking his mind._

_However, the sound hurt poor Feliciano's ears, "Per favore, please stop doing this." He thought desperately, wanting the enraged, indignant screeches of his brother to stop and for the tension that made up the entire atmosphere of their grandfather's house to just disperse as quickly as it possibly could._

_"Lovino Romano Vargas!" this voice belonged to the step-mother, feminine yet oddly hard, it came just as the sound of something else breaking was heard, "Calm down this instant! Listen to your father!"_

_The crash seemed to echo, making Feliciano mentally note it must have been something expensive, which was going to make their grandfather particularly angry with his son, seeing as he blamed the man for Lovino's state of mind when it came to that resentment. Their grandfather also shared Lovino's hatred of the woman, but he never voiced it._

_"Vaffanculo! Ti odio!" something else was broken. This time it was closer to Feliciano and the spot of safety he had taken for himself, as heard the sound of something sliding across the floor, before bumping his knee, which must have been sticking out from underneath the table._

_He squeaked as he pulled his knees up closer, pressing them up against his chest and burying his face in them seconds after, he wanted to drown out the sounds as he held himself defensively in this fetal position, trying not to allow the tears to flow from his eyes._

_It was always like this when their father came over with his wife and new child, the latter bringing with them the constant reminder of the abandonment that Feliciano and Lovino had faced. And though Feliciano had been a mere infant when it had transpired, and held no dislike of either of them, Lovino had been three, and the memory was a fresh wound that their visits always seemed to rub more salt in whenever he felt remotely close to healing and getting over it._

_Every._

_Single._

_Time. _

_It was most certainly not good for Lovino's health, nor his mentality, because with each visit it seemed Feliciano had the discontentment of watching his brother become more and more violent, with his actions as well as the words in his vocal assaults. Just as it was after every visit, he had to spend the entire night holding his sobbing brother, and Feliciano hated seeing him so agonized and aggrieved by the encounter that had caused so much distress in the elder's life._

_And to make matters worse, it hurt, being unable to anything else that could considerably aid his elder brother in his time of need, which was a rare, detested sight, as Feliciano felt that the other should always be filled with nothing short of infinite happiness._

_Which, for the most part, that really was what both of their lives consisted of, minus these few unpleasantries that came and went._

_"Why do they keep coming when they know he hates seeing them?" Feliciano couldn't help thinking sadly, "They know he hates them, so why? Don't they know how much it hurts him when they show up, hasn't he shown them that enough…?"_

_As for himself, Feliciano did not at all mind being in the presence of his father and step-mother, and he absolutely found tiny little Marcello adorable. He would be turning four this year, sometime in April. As for Feliciano and Lovino, they're birthday was only in a matter of days. It was March 12__th__, and they only had to wait five more days till the wondrous celebration began._

_So why, why had their parents come and ruined the festive mood that had been making itself settled in the house in the past twelve days? Yes, he was always happy to see them, but at the expense of his brother's sadness, he would have just preferred that his grandfather send him to their house._

_"Ti odio! Ti odio!" Lovino had begun screeching in the other room, his voice contorted in a choked sob rather than the irrationally loud screaming it had been minutes before. There was so much despair lacing those words. _

_And it only killed Feliciano because he knew, for the rest of the day, there was nothing he could do to make his brother feel any better. Not a thing could be done for a certain amount of time when Lovino got in one of his phases like this, other than pray he didn't have household appliances thrown at his head._

_If there was anything in the world Feliciano could have done at this point, he would have done so without even a second thought. All he wanted to do was take the pain away, leave the other feeling nothing but joy and content._

_"Please, please just hurry and leave the house," Feliciano whispered these words aloud, still curled up into himself. _

_Though no one could hear him. From the other room, the sound of a rather aggravated grandfather had made the appearance, and the screaming increased tenfold._

_"Please…"_

* * *

"Oi! Feliciano!"

The sound of Lovino's voice pulled the younger from his momentary trance, and though the memory was not considerably one of the fondest that Feliciano had, it certainly did keep his mind preoccupied for the time being. Something he needed more than anything else right now.

He looked to his brother, looking puzzled, "Sí fratello?" he asked, not quite sure if he had missed something while he allowed his mind to wander to the unpleasant memories of his mind, seeing as if he attempted to find any positive lights at this time, they would probably be even more painful.

Lovino opened his mouth, closed it, opened it once more, then closed it again. The younger watched as his elder sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, a trait he had adopted from their Nonno when displaying his obvious irritation.

"Just… don't space out so damn much…" the elder muttered after a few seconds. "I've said your name eight times and you were just standing there staring at nothing. Don't fucking worry me dammit."

Feliciano's cheeks flushed slightly out of embarrassment, not that they would be seen much in the darkness of the night, but he nodded nonetheless to his brother, "Mi dispiace. I won't do that again."

"Damn right you won't," Lovino muttered, and the younger had to strain his ears just to hear it.

It was bad enough having to make out the form and shape of the other in the other in the darkness, but Feliciano would find it difficult to multitask between both listening and hearing his brother when both required an intense amount of focus.

Speaking of hearing, "Fratello, where are we? I can't read the signs."

Lovino gave a heavy sigh, "It doesn't matter where we are right now, we have to keep moving and we can't if you keep spacing out."

"Where are we going?"

The elder said nothing for a moment, and Feliciano mentally prepared himself for the scolding he was sure to receive for asking too many questions instead of doing what he was told. It was a common thing they went through at home –

The home they no longer could call home, as they would most likely not be returning there.

Feliciano felt his heart clench, and he felt the tears try to well up at the corners of his eyes once more. Why did everything have to become so horrible in one night?

"Dispiace…" the younger started, not sure if his elder was actually going to speak again, "I shouldn't ask so many questions… I just wanna go home…"

"… I know…" Lovino said the words quietly, but they somehow still found their way to Feliciano's ears.

And he broke down, tears overflowing and running down his face as he sat on the cold pavement and began to cry. He knew his brother would panic, seeing him in such a depressing and more vulnerable state, but he was unable to help himself. All Feliciano wanted to do was sit there and let the tears fall from his face until he was unable to shed another, and his voice would fail from the incoherent sounds he continuously made in his pitiful state.

"I wanna go home… I wanna go home…" Feliciano wailed through his hiccups, not bothering to wipe his cheeks dry.

"F-Feliciano…"there was the familiar sound of his brother's voice, that sound he made when he wanted to cry, but refused to do so.

It only made the younger wail harder. "I wanna go home. I want to read bedtime stories with fratello and Nonno. I want to eat tomatoes and pasta. I want to visit the parks and have little picnics and watch the birds and animals and sit by the lake."

The list went on and on for a few minutes, all the little things that occurred in the six years he had been alive that had meant the world to little Feliciano.

Innocent, good-natured, optimistic little Feliciano.

And still, all he heard of his elder brother was silence, a silence that held the mutual understanding of the obvious sadness floating about in the air around them, killing both equally, but shown in completely different ways.

This continued for some minutes, Lovino's silence and Feliciano's wailings of misfortune that was indeed not something in the likes that they deserved, or would ever be able to understand in the like. But still, it continued until Feliciano had quieted down, the only thing remaining was the warm wetness on his cheeks from crying so hard.

In the silence, Feliciano opened his mouth to say something, something he knew full well would be uncharacteristically pessimistic of him, but he was cut off before he could get a sound out of his mouth.

"Feliciano… do you remember that card I got from that… that bastard… eight months ago?" Lovino seemed hesitant, as if he was trying to force the words to come from his mouth instead of letting them flow naturally.

"Sí…" The response was dead and lacked emotion, as the younger gazed up with dull eyes.

"W-well…" Lovino faltered for a moment, as if he was unsure of the next words he was going to say. He gazed down at the younger, and Feliciano had some inkling that the dead look he was sure was now swimming in his eyes is what had fueled the elder to continue. "That bastard told me… that if anything happened, and we needed to get away from Nonno… that we were welcome to come stay with them…"

At first, the words didn't at all register in Feliciano's mind, whether it was because of the content in those words or the fact that it was his brother who was the one speaking them in the first place. Either way, in the first instance, he felt indifference towards the words. However, the longer he sat there, the more they began to sink in.

His brother was talking about their father.

_Lovino _was implying that –

It all clicked into place in sync with the exact moment Feliciano's eyes widened in surprise.

"Y-you mean…?"

Lovino gave a heavy sigh, looking away with a look of distaste. "si, we're going to ask that…. Bastard for help."

* * *

**Finished...**

**Yay...**

**Next chapter.**

**Drop a like and/or a review, I need to know I'm not writing this for nothing.**


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